


Just Hold Me

by Ursula



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-08-06
Updated: 2004-08-06
Packaged: 2019-02-05 14:23:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12796374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ursula/pseuds/Ursula
Summary: A snippet I wrote for Raven when she was ill. Hmm, I must make my friends sick.





	Just Hold Me

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Haven, the archivist: This story was originally archived at [Fandom Haven Story Archive (FHSA)](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Fandom_Haven_Story_Archive), was scheduled to shut down at the end of 2016. To preserve the archive, I began working with the OTW to transfer the stories to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2017. If you are this creator and the work hasn't transferred to your AO3 account, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Fandom Haven Story Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/fhsa/profile).

Just Hold Me (Get well story for Raven)

 

 

The last thing that Mulder remembered was being jerked back and forth by the force of the careening car. 

 

Moments before, he had left Scully in a garage through which they had traveled. She had been spitting

mad, but Mulder had insisted. They had only lost the pursuit for a moment; he fully expected to be caught if they didn't kill him all right. At least, one of them would be alive to watch over their son.

 

After he had persuaded Scully to stay behind, Mulder had tried to get out of the town to lead the project's forces away from her. He did all right until he doubled back on a dirt road. Loose gravel sent the car spinning out of control.

 

There had been a wrenching pain and then...

 

 

"Hold still," growled a familiar smoky voice.

 

 

Mulder blinked as he looked up into Alex's face. Since when could ghosts sweat?

 

 

"Am I dead?" Mulder asked.

 

 

"No, no thanks to you," Alex remarked. "You and Scully were safe. Why did you let them lure you out?"

 

 

"They said that someone had been seen," Mulder muttered.

 

 

"Samantha again?" Alex hissed. "I thought you had moved on from that?"

 

 

It hadn't been Samantha, but Mulder was better off if Alex thought that it was. Trying to get up, Mulder fell back groaning. "Alex, you have to help Scully."

 

 

"Already did," Alex said, "She's with Walter."

 

 

"Walter? You mean, Walter Skinner?" Mulder asked.

 

 

"Duh, who did you think?" Walter Mitty?" Alex commented.

 

 

"I was just wondering why you are on first name basis with the man who shot you?" Mulder said.

 

 

"It was a setup, Mulder," Alex said. "Walter and I made a bargain. I gave him back control of his life and he set me free from the Project the only way that the old men would respect."

 

 

"By killing you?" Mulder said.

 

 

"The rumors of my recent death are greatly exaggerated," Alex answered.

 

 

"You thought that was easy for me to watch?" Mulder complained.

 

 

"You didn't turn a hair," Alex said.

 

 

"I wasn't going to give that to them," Mulder said. "They gave you to me. They took you away and kept dangling you like a combination dog treat and red flag. If I showed them that I still had feelings, they would have won."

 

 

"That I understand," Alex said. "Never give the son of a bitches an inch."

 

 

"If I could get off this bed, I'd swat your pert round behind," Mulder said.

 

 

"If you could get up, I'd let you," Alex said. He settled on the bed, trailing his hand through Mulder's hair, his face, gentle and preoccupied.

 

 

"They left me with you?" Mulder asked.

 

 

"It was the best plan," Alex said. "I had a hiding place nearby and pursuit is still hot. Unfortunately, that means that we can't bring you to a doctor. I know enough to be sure that you are basically all right. No broken bones or internal injuries."

 

 

"I feel like shit," Mulder said, "I ache all over."

 

 

"Yeah, I figured. I have something brewing that will help a lot," Alex said.

 

 

"What?" Mulder said, his large nose sniffing like a lemur's. "Are you boiling your dirty socks by any chance? Cause that's what it smells like."

 

 

"That's valerian. I drink it when I have nightmares or when my arm aches. The rebels fixed it, but I still have phantom pain. Gets me why that would be," Alex said, shrugging.

 

 

"I'm not drinking that. No way in hell am I letting that get anywhere near my nose," Mulder declared.

 

 

Moments later, Mulder had no choice. He either had to swallow the concoction or drown. Spluttering, Mulder waved his arms and managed to get out between the forced dosages, "Wait! I'll drink the stuff. What the hell are you doing? Trying to drown me?"

 

 

"I know you have excellent control of your gag reflex, my love," Alex said. "I wasn't worried."

 

 

Mulder scowled as he wiped valerian tea from his face. He finished the two cups that Alex prescribed without throwing up, which was a wonder. 

 

 

To his surprise and even his regret, Mulder found that Alex's herbal remedy did help. His aching muscles relaxed and he felt sleepy. He also felt very sad and alone. "I suppose this is the only bed," Mulder grumbled. "What a setup. You get this thing only to give you an excuse to sleep with me?"

 

 

It had taken few powers of observation to discern that Alex's hiding place was neither a dark hole nor a high tech lab, but was a large motor home. When Alex flicked open the blinds, Mulder saw that they were camped in a large lot of similar vehicles. Old people were cozily sitting out in lounge chairs and shooting the breeze with other loudly dressed senior runaways.

 

Since Alex hadn't risen to his jibe, Mulder had to find something else to say. "Killer double agents shouldn't hide out in motor home camps," Mulder protested. "It's just not right."

 

 

"You ever listen to the Who?" Alex asked.

 

 

"Sure," Mulder answered, "I always liked Tommy and Behind Blue Eyes is one of my favorite non-Elvis songs. I always thought it should have been about green eyes though."

 

 

In a surprising professional voice, Alex warbled, " I'm going home and when I want to go home, I'm going mobile. Well, I'm gonna find a home on wheels; see how it feels going mobile. Keep me moving..."

 

 

Sleepier than ever, Mulder reflected that he didn't remember his mother singing lullabies to him. What if this Who rock song, performed by the most delightfully dirty lover that Mulder ever had, was the first person to ever sing him to sleep? The world was a very strange place, but as Mulder slid beneath the light cover and felt Alex's hands smooth the blanket over him, it wasn't a bad one.

 

 

OooOooO

 

 

"So is your guest? Your young man?" the thin, but cheery voice asked. It was female and Mulder could tell it belonged to someone on the high side of sixty.

 

 

"Used to be," Alex said, rather sadly.

 

 

"Well, don't let pride stand in your way," the old voice said. "If my Eldon and I had stood the ground, we'd be a lonely old widow and widower right now. We broke up when I was a young thing over politics of all things. He was a socialist and I had been raised a staunch Republican. Neither of us would switch so I married dear Harry and spent thirty years in a relationship that was very secure and stable...and boring. Eldon never did marry, but he made enough money on his art to help pay for Bertha. Imagine my surprise when he was the one who answered my ad to sell her. We started to talk and the old spark had never died. I ended up keeping Bertha and selling my house. We've been living in paradise on the road ever since."

 

 

Mulder blinked back tears. Republican and Socialist might forgive each other, but Alex had betrayed him. How could he forgive that? Even if...

 

 

The vision of himself old and weary, thinking back with regret of a life he could have spent with the man he loved made Mulder very sorry for himself. He tried to get out of bed to escape his thoughts, but his legs gave out and he landed with a thump on the floor.

 

 

The thin panel that separated the double bed from the rest of the mobile home slid open and Alex's face looked down on him with an irritated expression.

 

 

"Mulder, what the hell are you doing?" Alex demanded.

 

 

The interested face of the old woman, to whom Alex had been speaking, peered past Alex at Mulder. Great... Alex had put him to bed nude.

 

 

"Help me up," Mulder yelled. "I'm naked."

 

 

"Yeah, and you get out of bed again before I say you are ready, you will be naked and spanked," Alex observed.

 

 

"I'll leave you two to your own business," the old woman said, a giggle escaping as she fled the scene.

 

 

"Who the hell was that? What kind of security is this? You let a total stranger see me..." Mulder complained.

 

 

"Ellen is a dear. She brought over some chicken soup and homemade bread," Alex said. "She's a friend. We've been running into each other for a year at these motor home parks."

 

 

"A friend? What would you have in common with her?" Mulder said.

 

 

Alex's face softened in that far away expression that Mulder had always found so fascinating.

 

 

"I like talking to her. I like talking to ordinary people who had real lives. I could hear about their jobs, their kids, their loves, all of their sorrows and joys forever," Alex mused. "They think that I am just a good listener, being polite, but I really love hearing them."

 

 

Mulder couldn't quite relate. He could listen, but it made him impatient. He tried to understand Alex though. Maybe it was just that Alex had never had much in the way of the ordinary. How he must yearn at times for the less dramatic ups and downs of these people.

 

 

"I'm hungry," Mulder said, shying away from understanding Alex. That could be dangerous.

 

 

"All right. Stay put and I'll bring you lunch," Alex said sternly.

 

 

A moment later, Alex returned with two bowls of hot soup with large slices of steaming bread on the side. Mulder's stomach emitted a welcoming growl at the sight and smell.

 

 

"Ellen whips up wonders in her little kitchen," Alex said. "Her husband, Eldon, is the one who bakes the bread. He used to bake it and sell it to health food stores when he was low in cash before his painting too off."

 

 

"It's good," Mulder said, a few crumbs escaping.

 

 

Alex leaned over and wiped his face for him. Their eyes met and Alex's fingers shook with some interior seismic event. Ducking his head and hiding his emotions beneath the thick mask of his lashes, Alex put the napkin down.

 

 

Mulder felt pleased that he could still do that to Alex. Scully and he had a different relationship. She cared for him, but he didn't overwhelm her senses. He had always loved the way Alex would melt for him, beg for his touch. Scully had too much self-esteem for that.

 

 

Mulder said, "Did you let Walter fuck you?"

 

 

"What the hell kind of question is that?" Alex said, scarlet flooding his cheeks.

 

 

"Just making conversation," Mulder said, satisfied with the effect.

 

 

"No wonder you haven't been invited to tea with the queen," Alex said.

 

 

Mulder snickered at the offended tone and said, "I suppose you would know exactly what to do if you went to court?"

 

 

"Of course," Alex said, "Haven't you heard? A rat may look at a queen."

 

 

Mulder was sure that was not how he heard the tale, but he couldn't think of a rebuttal.

 

 

His stomach full, Mulder was forced to drink more valerian tea. His aching bones seemed to welcome the nasty tasting stuff. Stupid traitorous skeleton.

 

 

Pressing matters now kept Mulder from sleep. He said, "I need to use the bathroom and don't you dare offer me a bedpan!"

 

 

Wobbling treacherously, Mulder finally had to just let Alex move him along. The rat bastard felt solid, supportive, and strong. Mulder didn't want to believe that. He had been hurt too many times before.

 

 

Alex grasped Mulder around the waist and held his penis for him to piss, even shaking him off for him.

 

 

"You're all too comfortable with that," Mulder said.

 

 

Alex merely laughed.

 

 

A sponge bath later, Mulder was back in bed. He wanted Alex to join him for someone to hold onto, but he was too proud to ask.

 

 

OooOooO

 

 

Hours later, Mulder woke. He checked and saw that it was dark now. He sat up carefully. He felt better, he thought. It wasn't that he really wanted to leave. He just didn't want Alex to think he could threaten him into staying. His own clothing was nowhere to be found,

but Alex had some stuff that fit.

 

 

Alex slept in the driver's chair, looking very pretty and very vapid with his lips parted to accommodate his deep breaths.

 

 

Mulder grunted. Stupid Alex. Since when had he taken Mulder's words at face value? Just because Mulder accused him of trying to use his accident as an excuse to get into bed was him was no reason to leave

him alone in bed.

 

The door creaked open and Mulder glanced back. Alex didn't stir.

 

 

Outside, the air had cooled. A few people still gathered around brick- lined campfire pits. Mulder took the first step and winced. He only made it down the second step out of sheer willfulness.

 

 

The truth was that Mulder had no idea of where he wanted to go. He didn't even really want to leave Alex. He wanted this interlude to be real, but at the same time, it scared the hell out of him.

 

 

His sore knee buckled, tumbling him to a crouch.

 

 

"Mulder, I warned you," Alex said.

 

 

Picked up like a rag doll, Mulder was dragged back into the mobile home. Alex undressed him in a fury. When he had Mulder naked, Alex said, "I warned you, Mulder. I promised myself not to break any promises to you. Never again. I'm going to start by delivering that

promised spanking."

 

 

Well, that was a hell of a way to start a relationship built on trust and truth...

 

 

"Hey," Mulder said, "I'm not up to any kinky stuff."

 

 

"This isn't about sex," Alex said, "This is about loving discipline. It's about you not hurting yourself and letting me help you."

 

 

Damn, that sounded serious and it sounded...good.

 

 

Thinking about it, Mulder said, "You really mean it? No more broken promises? No more lies?"

 

 

"To the best of my ability," Alex vowed.

 

 

"I guess I could take a spanking if that's the prize," Mulder said.

 

 

"Good, because you are going to get one," Alex said.

 

 

Alex was quite serious and quite strong. His hand could not have been made out of ordinary flesh.

 

Alex's palm hit the rounds of Mulder's butt. It was surprising painful. The blows stung when he was hit and burned later. Every time Alex crossed one of the previous places where his hand had landed, it awoke a truly miserable sensation.

 

 

If Mulder were in a cartoon, lightening bolts would have been shooting from his brightly burning butt.

 

 

Clenching his teeth, Mulder kept from crying out. At least he thought he was until he heard a sob. It took a strong effort to out-think the pain before Mulder realized that it wasn't him that was crying.

 

 

Alex was sobbing as he landed the final blows. His breath hitched like a weary child's as he moved Mulder off his lap.

 

 

"And now you'll never forgive me," Alex said, "But I said I would do it. I had to prove to you that I mean what I say."

 

 

Wishing he had some ice for his ass, Mulder gingerly got to a sitting position by perching more on his side than on his rump.

 

 

As Alex started to walk off, Mulder said, "Hey, you didn't do that right."

 

 

"What?" Alex asked. "What do you mean?"

 

 

"Well, I'm no expert, but I think you're supposed to tell me that I'll do the right thing from now on," Mulder said.

 

 

"Will you?" Alex asked. "I mean, of course, you learned your lesson. You'll let me take care of you until you're well."

 

 

"Yeah, I will," Mulder said. "Come here, Alex, get in bed with me. I need some comfort."

 

 

Alex obeyed and lay beside Mulder, a hand on his shoulder.

 

 

As quietly as Alex had spoken, Mulder said, "It was you that made me leave my hiding place. They said you had been seen and that you were a prisoner, alive. I had to see. I had to help you."

 

 

"Oh, God, Mulder," Alex said, hiding his face in the pillow.

 

 

Contemplating the huddled figure, Mulder said, "Alex?"

 

 

"Yeah?" asked Alex softly.

 

 

"Just hold me," Mulder said.

 

 

And Alex did.

 

 

The End.


End file.
